I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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