You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
