It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
