I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
