before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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