so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
