Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
