She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
