He had one of those small greek statue penises
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
