the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize