mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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