stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
