I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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