i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
