They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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