3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
i think my cat just said my name.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
