I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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