Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Randomize
