I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
