When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
