just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize