All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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