And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize