it wasn't lemon gatorade
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
