Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
