look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize