I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
