Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
