Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
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