so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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