Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
How external is "for external use only"?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
