Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize