first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Dick very happy bro
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
