I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
