Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
When did angry sex become our thing?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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