You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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