Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize