remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
