My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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