But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
