I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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