:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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