you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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