you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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