she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
