I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
