What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
