I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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