So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
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