I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
