Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
