The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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