I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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