what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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