She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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