Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
