I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize