I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
