Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
