i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
