It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
