Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
