so explain again why im purple
no
wanna go halves on a baby?
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
