i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I faked an abortion last night.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
