did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
