the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
