So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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