So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
