our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
