Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
