where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
