turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
